How to behave in the Swinging Lifestyle
All of us want to be successful in the swinging lifestyle.
It doesn't matter how often, with whom, where, or in what style we swing one of the nicest things about our lifestyle is that most of us relate to each other with understanding, thoughtfulness, and common courtesy.
Be aware that many people in the lifestyle have insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Everyone should be treated with courtesy, kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. Basically, courtesy is you treating other people the way you want to be treated.
Even if you are not interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share interests other than swinging or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and with whom you do wish to share time.
Respond to all invitations
RSVP means please reply to the invitation. It does not mean reply only if you plan to attend. The most frustrating part of hosting, be it a party, a group or another couple, is people who are discourteous enough not to respond. Good manners and good social courtesy requires you to respond by either calling or writing to say yes or no.
Never arrive empty handed
When you go to someone's home for a party, ask if there is something you can bring. (it's amazing how many supplies, other than food are used up at an average party.) If you are not going as a couple, a house - gift is appropriate (and not necessarily wine.) If you are attending a paid party or a club no gift is expected or necessary.
Take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, condoms, etc.. If you plan to stay over, sleeping bags or blankets and pillows are necessities.
Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an unclean body or un-fresh breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. Long journeys and meals will usually mean that some hygene repairs will be required before the party.
Respect Other People's Feelings
Beware, not everyone is comfortable in all situations, keep your eyes open for signs that your partner is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If they are not comfortable, try talking to them to help them through the rough spots.
Don't be Pushy
If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say "No, thank you," do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say "NO" at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Do not ever forget that.
Only Do What is Fun for You
Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.
How and Why to say NO
One of the basic etiquette's in swinging is the right of anyone to say "No" at anytime. Not everyone is compatible with everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, can however lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. In the Swinging Lifestyle everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No thank you". Never give an explanation, because that would probably upset the person further.
Alcohol & Drugs
Most of us do not use drugs, although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". Over indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle.
Practice Safer Sex
It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, aids, yeast infection, etc.., the use of condoms should not offend anybody. Anyone not willing to take this precaution is acting selfishly and irresponsibly. You are not being accused of being unclean, but simply someone wishes to provide you both with protection.
Remember to say Thank You
It only takes a few minutes to drop your hosts a email, text or WhatsApp message to thank them for their hospitality. Don't you like to be thanked?
Be Good Hosts
When you have swingers coming to your home, try to anticipate their needs: put clean sheets on the beds; keep plenty of clean washcloths and towels available. Show your guests through the house so that they will know where the bathrooms, kitchen, and other rooms are located. Read this document for help on organizing and running a swingers party: Guide to Running a Swingers Party
Most important, have a great time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and let your partner explore theirs, and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.Back to Questions Page